I clicked on the ALS link and then went on to see about becoming an ALS user myself. It seems like a pretty simple process. I can get "granted beamtime" by proposing an experiment and waiting 5-10 working days for the peer review panel to say "Yes, Jason! Here's the key. You'll be on laser #4."

My proposal is quite simple: I will find someone who is terminally ill (and so wouldn't care about being shot at by a radioactive beam) and shoot them with the laser. What I want to discover is simply this: since the beam makes such a tiny hole in the stuff that it shoots, would anybody even notice a little tiny hole through their body?

My method: Ask a dying person, "How do you feel?" Then shoot them with the laser. Then ask, "How do you feel now?" Record the results.

My hypothesis: They'll feel okay.

Materials: Laser, dying person, pencil

I didn't like Revolutions either. Which is apparently some kind of heresy, based on the dirty looks I get when I mention my lack of fanness (fanitude?).

Your lack of fanacity is pretty common. In fact, I think it's the norm. The people who look at you funny should be looked at with more funniness still.

Frankly, I think the biggest problem with Revolution is the lack of the extended dance scene in Zion. Once you've set a precident on something like that, it's hard to go back.

Jason - I think your experiment sounds brilliant. With the power invested in me by the Lazerbeam Grant Board, I hereby approve your request.

Well, they *did* have a brief S&M orgy dance scene, to provide a bookend to the hippie-neo-soul-rave in Zion.

But that's neither heresy or theresy.