November 24, 2003

Saw Matrix Revolutions this weekend with the Berger Lab crew and Friends. I wasn't a fan. Ate far too much delicious Thai food afterwards. I was a fan.
Instead of being home in my nice warm bed with Dianna, I'm at the ALS getting shafted by my crystals. The damn things diffract well, but I can't get any goddamn metals to bind with high occupancy. Someone shut off the jury-rigged pencil-bot, too, so there's not even mechanical hijiinks to keep me awake.

Oops. Almost time to get the next crystal ready for the beam. 45 minutes until someone comes to replace me on this shift. I'm counting every second.

Posted on November 24, 2003 05:16 AM

I clicked on the ALS link and then went on to see about becoming an ALS user myself. It seems like a pretty simple process. I can get "granted beamtime" by proposing an experiment and waiting 5-10 working days for the peer review panel to say "Yes, Jason! Here's the key. You'll be on laser #4."

My proposal is quite simple: I will find someone who is terminally ill (and so wouldn't care about being shot at by a radioactive beam) and shoot them with the laser. What I want to discover is simply this: since the beam makes such a tiny hole in the stuff that it shoots, would anybody even notice a little tiny hole through their body?

My method: Ask a dying person, "How do you feel?" Then shoot them with the laser. Then ask, "How do you feel now?" Record the results.

My hypothesis: They'll feel okay.

Materials: Laser, dying person, pencil

Posted by: jason on November 24, 2003 07:54 AM

I didn't like Revolutions either. Which is apparently some kind of heresy, based on the dirty looks I get when I mention my lack of fanness (fanitude?).

Posted by: jenny on November 24, 2003 03:50 PM

Your lack of fanacity is pretty common. In fact, I think it's the norm. The people who look at you funny should be looked at with more funniness still.

Posted by: jason on November 24, 2003 07:52 PM

Frankly, I think the biggest problem with Revolution is the lack of the extended dance scene in Zion. Once you've set a precident on something like that, it's hard to go back.

Jason - I think your experiment sounds brilliant. With the power invested in me by the Lazerbeam Grant Board, I hereby approve your request.

Posted by: Jolie on November 25, 2003 12:48 PM

Well, they *did* have a brief S&M orgy dance scene, to provide a bookend to the hippie-neo-soul-rave in Zion.

But that's neither heresy or theresy.

Posted by: sean on November 25, 2003 12:56 PM