August 20, 2002

The person living directly above me appears to be obsessed with vacuuming. They were doing the old carpet-clean at 1:30am this morning, and now (1:30pm), they're doing it again. Maybe they're just obsessive-compulsive about getting dirt out of fabrics at half past the hour. But it's not even a nice thorough vacuuming job. They'll clean one spot for about 30 seconds, then turn off the vacuum for 2 minutes. Then turn it back on, vacuum a different spot for 30 seconds, and stop. Then it's back to the original spot. Rinse, lather, and repeat.

Very strange.

Posted on August 20, 2002 01:32 PM

ah. sex vacuum. very common toy.

i guess. i've heard. wouldn't know really. what?

Posted by: didofoot on August 20, 2002 01:42 PM

That's *exactly* what I meant when I typed "carpet-clean." No doubt about it. EXACTLY.


Posted by: Jacob on August 20, 2002 04:34 PM

This is uncanny. Just last night I was at Erica's new "BLOOD OF THE DEEPEST RED" apartment and the fuckers upstairs were vacuuming at 10:30 at night, then again half an hour later. Don't they realize that vacuuming is a daytime activity? And that it's woman's work? If they get anything out of this, it should be that it's woman's work.

Posted by: jason on August 20, 2002 04:35 PM

carpet munchers.

Posted by: mishie on August 20, 2002 04:35 PM

el [carpet muncher in spanish] es muy muy grande.

Posted by: didofoot on August 20, 2002 04:38 PM

Jason don't you know that they are just following the advice of the commercial to do all major appliance work after peak hours?!

Posted by: nuala on August 20, 2002 04:40 PM

nuala- hwee hwee.

kristen- el commodore de fuengo
i don't speak spanish.

Posted by: michele on August 20, 2002 04:43 PM

flex your power! flex it!

Posted by: didofoot on August 20, 2002 04:54 PM

They're vacuuming again. Note the time on this comment.

Posted by: Jacob on August 20, 2002 04:56 PM

jason, do you think my landlady was using the vacuum to cover up sex noise? ewwwwww...

p.s. jacob you bastard, that mini-fridge was special to me... i wanted it to stay w/ a good home... now who knows what shenanigans it will become a part of.

Posted by: erica on August 23, 2002 08:33 PM

It's becoming a semi-permanent part of a LGBT co-op. I think they're going to sodomize it. Could there BE a better home for a mini-fridge?

Posted by: Jacob on August 24, 2002 09:15 AM

pink wieners

Posted by: on July 19, 2004 07:37 AM

your mom is a man

Posted by: on July 19, 2004 07:37 AM

oh yeah? well my mom slept with your mom.

Posted by: michele on July 19, 2004 09:18 AM

You may not have realised this so far but there is the likely possibility that they are having vacuum cleaner "sex". Many couples get turned on by playing with the wifes vacuum cleaner, by sucking clit or cock, and this is a VERY COMMON FETISH. Anyone who is vacuuming at unusual times, can be suspect of this, and the irregular "pattern" of switching their hoover on for short periods then off again almost PROVES that this is what they were doing, sucking each others privates with the womans hoover. I KID U NOT ! This is perfectly COMMON in the fetish world. The orgasms induced by an ordinary hoover are FANTASTIC !...I know,,coz I enjoy vacs too ! Let me know if u get this message please.

Cheers !!


Posted by: shinymac on July 23, 2004 09:43 AM

i deplore your use of the english, shinymac. you are writing on a scientist's page, man. look up "proof" and then go to your room and think about what you've done.

Posted by: didofoot on July 23, 2004 10:08 AM

So do we really in this day and age have to refer to the vacuum cleaner as being owned by the female gender? This isn't the 1950's couldn't we, instead of talking about the "womans (sic) hoover" talk about their hoover. I mean does the woman so own the job of cleaning that the vacuum cleaner must be hers. Gimme a break.

Posted by: gene on July 23, 2004 10:09 AM

Deplore is a good word. I deplore the casual approach to proof, the unnecessary and slightly desperate use of capital letters, and the asinine insistence that the vacuum cleaner belongs automatically to the woman in a relationship (assuming there is one and only one woman in the relationship in the first place). I would like to point out that I tend to think of my household's vacuum cleaner as belonging to Jacob, since he uses it much more frequently than I do.

Shinymac, what the hell do you know about the fetish world? The fetish world has a vast array of effective, purpose-built sucking devices that don't wake up the neighbors and can be operated with much greater precision, convenience, and sex appeal than a vacuum cleaner. Do your research, or at least do your shopping.

Posted by: Dianna on July 23, 2004 10:54 AM

I like using a shop vac - 10cm openning lets my willy flail around until it sucks the jiz out of me. No cleanup either! I really like this method...but it is a bit loud...muffles my moaning I guess. My wife actually intro'd me to the concept one day when we were in the garage...she said "hey, come over here and let me clean you out". I was unsure what she was up to until she got to unzipping me!

Posted by: pinky on October 9, 2004 03:32 PM