September 11, 2006
The Ivory Tower has landed. As a future scientist, I no longer receive normal spam. Apparently my penis is just fine, thank you, but there's a Nigerian who needs a US bank account to hold 400 liters of fetal calf serum.
PS - No, I don't work with serum or mice.
Posted on September 11, 2006 08:42 PM
um...and, the knowledge crystals?
"Um... and the knowledge cryst-?" Aquarium gravel.
I really like the options you have for your fetal calf serum here. Optima, Advantage, Premium, and Premium Select. I never knew there were better and worse grades of fetal calves.
They're probably like the options other scientific supply companies have for fridges/freezers: Super, Max, and Ultra. All of which are just Frigidaires from Sears with different labels and price tags slapped on them.
Scientific supply is an incredible racket.
While all of the items at the left sound chillingly Frankenstein-ish to me (Normal Human Serum? Insect Cell Qualified Fetal Bovine Serum?) I'm most partial to the corporate warmth of Fico/Lite-LM (Mouse). Do they have logowear? If you order 500 ml at the special price, do they send you schwag? Can I have it?
I even like what I take to be either their product description or their mission statement. It sounds like a PBS announcement. "...the support of the Catherine T. and John D. MacArthur Foundation, Fico/Lite-LM for the isolation of mouse mononuclear cells, and Viewers Like You."
You'd be surprised and amused by the product names for some of this shit. "Redi-vu" dyed chemicals, "Stratalinker" crosslinking systems, "Quikchange" mutagenesis kits, and "GeneJammer" transfection kits. It's like the sciences never progressed beyond 1950s marketing strategies.
In fact, these companies *do* have schwag. They're normally jealously guarded by the grad students that receive them (because it's passing cool among dorks to wear a shirt advertising radioactive ATP). Sadly, I myself have no no schwag to give. Though I'll look into obtaining some and passing the savings (and shirts) on to you. What size?